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You might say I was ready for a good cry. Yet how tempting to ignore sorrow, as if it were a beggar.

Those dark, accusing eyes. I almost rushed past Stephen Schwartz, too.

A booklet describing his workshops sat on my desk, unread, along with dozens of other brochures promising to unfurl Piernont petals. Who has time for workshops?

Life is so busy rearranging Piermonr already, and truth such a flirt. Read the words of the master, spend an evening with the master: But when I finally picked up the booklet, I was intrigued.

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I ordered a tape. I listened to it on my way to the airport.

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I was sick of myself, the scratchy soundtrack of my days, the desperate longing. What was Schwartz saying? I listened more closely.

We condemn and deny our loneliness. We take our longing f or love and turn it into shame. His voice so ardent, so sincere. His words like the sea, rocking me; like a big wave, whacking me in the chest.

There is great strength in wanting. There is dignity, not shame, in loneliness.

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My mind was a hanging judge who showed no mercy. I resented my wife for leaving, but I resented myself even more for feeling left. In the mirror I caught a glimpse of myself, tears streaming down my cheeks.

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The beauty of his language, the passion and lucidity of his message, continue to move me. Schwartz is more than just a good listener, a psychologically astute guy with a flair for the right phrase. Also, those familiar with A Course In Miracles — Wife want real sex NY Piermont 10968 radical rendering of Christian thought with which Schwartz was once identified — will recognize his debt to the Courseas well as his independence from it.

At his workshops, Schwartz asks people to sit in a circle with their eyes closed.

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Then, through a process similar to meditation, with its focus on the breath, and to therapy, with its emphasis on feelings — but dramatically unlike either — he gently but persistently encourages them to turn to the pain, not the ideology about the pain; to the truth of the body, not cliches about the truth; to the actual feelings, not the words that wrap the feelings in too many layers, Wife want real sex NY Piermont 10968 a mother nervously bundling her infant against a warm, fragrant breeze.

Usually, Schwartz explains, thoughts are so clustered around a feeling that it seems Piermmont if the definition is the feeling.

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When we feel loneliness, when we feel anger, when we feel love, we eex it in the body. Our fears and mental turmoil, he says, are the result of trying to place limiting labels on the innocent feeling life.

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Therefore, turning to the body, with compassionate attention, is the first step in really caring for ourselves. Feelings, Schwartz suggests, are the movement of energy at these subtle levels.

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His dialogues reql workshop participants bear this out. He gently encourages people to move their attention from the tangle of thought to the energy of the body. By persistently asking where a feeling is being experienced, he helps distinguish between what is actually occurring in the body and the conditioning, the descriptions, the self-defeating ideas carried by the mind.

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Ironically, the very act of writing this — hunched before a glowing computer screen, jazzed on coffee and deadline anxiety — distances me from my body. I wander anxiously through the museum of myself, rules on every wall.

S chwartz, forty-three, lives in upstate New York, on a mountaintop overlooking the Hudson River, with his wife Donna and their two sons. During the next two decades, he worked as a shoe salesman, a deliveryman, a vegetarian meat-cutter, an insurance agent, and a teacher; ran a secondhand bookstore; sold Piermoont plants with his father; and wrote two theatrical productions, one based on William Blake and the other on James Joyce.

For aex while, he enjoyed a modest reputation as a teacher of A Course In Miraclesthough his maverick approach to the Course got him in trouble. He says people would come to his talks carrying copies of Pidrmont Course under their arms, then storm away angrily, offended by his insistence that salvation has nothing to do with beliefs; that we need to free ourselves of all ideologies, even those as sublime as the Course.

His teaching has continued to evolve, his language less overtly spiritual now, more Wife want real sex NY Piermont 10968.

I respect his willingness to recreate himself regularly, to risk offending his admirers. When I met him for the first time last year, I expected to feel intimidated. But he was warm and relaxed, not the kind of person who engages in spiritual grandstanding.

The books, as well as information on his tapes and workshops, are available from Riverrun Press, Ral. BoxPiermont, NY A seemingly robust, indefatigable man, Schwartz nearly died earlier this year after he collapsed at home and was rushed to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with cancer.

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When I heard the news, I was stunned. We spoke about this during our interview, and Schwartz has just written a book about the experience. An Interview With Stephen R.

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